The One Who Loves Him
by butterflyswest
Summary: Oneshot NeelaRay fic written by Jenn of butterflyswest. Ray is finally with the one who loves him....


_This is a oneshot written by Jenn. I want to thank Navy for being my beta on this...hugs, hon! I hope that everyone will let me know what you think of this. I really love reviews...and I hope that everyone will let me know if you like this._

_Jenn _

Neela sighed as she wrote. Tears stained the page and she sucked in a quivering breath and continued to write.

"_I am tired of feeling this way._

_How did I get to this point?_

_Why did I run? _

_Why didn't I just stay?_"

Neela sighed as she read the short poem that started the note. She still wondered if she was making the right choice, but as the pain of her beloved moving on and knowing she couldn't, she knew she had to. She continued to write, trying to calm her quavering hand.

_"He's moved on now and I am still alone…wondering what could have been. I've never loved anyone...But him...Not even Michael. And all I ever did was hurt him. But that's what I do best I guess. Hurt the ones I love. I guess being a control freak doesn't help either. But, you can control whom you love, yeah? But…that's me Neela Rasgotra...The control freak who is best at running away from things...from people. From him. From love. But I'll never have to run again. Never have to control anything again. I'm controlling the last thing I'll ever control. Let him know I love him. No harm could come from him knowing now, eh?"_

Neela could feel her eyes getting heavy. Sleep was coming to her, making her feel like she was floating on a cloud. She had never felt more at peace then she did right at this moment.

Pictures of Ray flashed in her mind. Neela smiled and thought _This is the way do go. Seeing him…His face…Wishing he knew all along that I deeply loved him...but now it's too late. _

He had moved on...and it wasn't with her. But, she blamed herself for that. After all, didn't she run from him when he reached out to her and she was the one that pushed him away after the death of her husband? She closed her eyes and let out one last breath…

Abby found her still body when Neela didn't show up for shift. Sensing something was wrong, she had talked Luka into letting her go and check on her friend. Opening the door, Abby immediately knew that her instincts were right. "Neela?" She yelled as she opened the door to her former apartment. "We're all a little worried about you." As she looked in the bedroom, Abby knew nothing could be done. She saw the pen and paper next to her and couldn't believe what she saw. Tears filled her eyes as she read the note. Taking the cold hand into her own, Abby sobbed. "Why didn't you…what were you thinking? All you had to do…"

"Abby?" A voice behind her was quiet.

Abby looked over her shoulder to see Ray standing there. Abby smiled a pain-filled smile and gave him a hug. "Ray…"

Tears form in his eyes. Abby knew she should show him the note, but she didn't have the heart to show him. She knew she should let him know that his soul mate was gone, but the look from her tells it all and she struggles to hold him up as he lost the strength to stand.

After a few moments of tears, Ray looked at the note in Abby's hand. "It's for me isn't it Abby?"

"Yeah, it is," were the only words that Abby could say at that moment. She held the note up, wiped a few tears. "She says...says…" Abby tried to tell him but she couldn't find the words.

But, Ray knew what words Abby was struggling to find. He wiped some more tears as he leaned his head back against the wall. "She loved me too, didn't she?"

"Yeah." was all Abby could softly reply. After all he had just lost her best friend today, but Ray had lost his love…his very life.

Ray gingerly stood up, trying to find the strength to breathe; to move. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently took Neela's hand in his and he kissed her finger ever so lightly. "I know you won't hear this and you'll never really know, but I love you and I'll never love anyone the way I love you, Neela. Never. For the rest of my life."

Ray Barnett was never the same after that day. Despite a fling here and there, he never loved anyone the way he loved her. He didn't want a life with anyone if that person wasn't the deceased Neela Rasgotra. He refused to be tamed and found himself going back to the days and nights of one night stands that he had before he fell in love with the raven haired beauty.

000000

On the day he died, there was a small smile on his face. Old acquaintances, friends, family, and co-workers showed up for his memorial. The faces, though older, were familiar enough. Alonzo Pratt helped his grandfather walk up the steps to the church. As he passed by pictures of the much younger Ray, the retired doctor couldn't help but smile. He knew he'd be next. After all, he had a couple years on the now deceased man.

People slowly made their way in and took their seats. Elderly people gathered together and laughed at old memories before the service. As the service started, everyone looked to the young lady kneeling before the coffin. Hearts broke for her from those who knew her story, but no one said anything. It was all about remembering the man who lay still in the coffin before them. It was a struggle for the elderly lady to walk up the stairs, even with the help of her young grandson. In a shaky voice, she softly spoke. "We are here today to honor Ray Barnett." Abby Lockhart – Kovac smiled slightly, knowing Ray hated tears and wouldn't want anyone, least of all her, crying for him, but she couldn't stop. "Ray was the best doctor and friend I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. One could state that he lived a full life from his rocker days till his death last week at the age of 70. He was a good man and I think we all know that. But I feel in my heart that Ray is happier now then he has ever been because today Ray Barnett is with the one he loves." She smiled down at the body. "And with the one that loves him."


End file.
